Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jig

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, 

but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." 

Douglas Adams

The Dominican Republic really was the perfect location to finish off our trip.  The ultimate destination to suspend our family between the end of the journey and the beginning of our entry back into reality.  

I didn't want the trip to end yet I wanted to go back, perhaps that is Nirvana?  The place where looking back brings sweet tears of loss for the good times spent, the present frames a contented sensation and the future is filled with gleeful anticipation.   

Lounging in the apartment each day I could never quite bring myself to post the blog, somehow by suspending the moments in cyberspace would mean that I would never have to leave or write about a return.  I would just stay there in my Nirvana existence.  

We had achieved such great distances in the last year and triumphed many obstacles.  Sure we had our share of full of unfulfilled dreams and thwarted travel plans, maybe the home school had been too massive an undertaking, perhaps we had paused our live aboard boat plans.  However, one thing was absolutely sure, our bond of family had grown as close as the minute living spaces we often found ourselves existing in.

Everywhere is nowhere. When a person spends all his time in foreign travel

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I'm sure I'll soon be back to planning secret travel itineraries, there is talk of Australia next year.  I have that guilty secret of my trans Siberian train trip lurking around in my mind and a side trip to Croatia if I visit the Uk again this summer. 

“The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”  Erma Bombeck

Returning has been a confusing climactic anticlimax of emotions and I am mindful not to bore people with story after story of the adventures.  Instead I am retreating back into my historical journey, by blogging it means I get to go back to where ever it was and rediscover a depth of details through post trip research.  And my ground breaking last thoughts?  Less is more, and if you hold onto plans, people, possessions, the past too tightly they trickle from your grip like sand.  Finally make every breath count, especially at altitude.

Cirque de Chapman

"At the beach, life is different. 
Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. 
We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun."

Unknown

Our afternoons in Cabarete were filled with wind and kite adventures, the mornings however, were a time of coffee and contemplation.  Opening my eyes to watch the sunrise from the comfort of my bed was the ultimate secret decadence.  I would watch the world slip into view bathed by the early morning smolder of coral and peach hues.  In the silent surrounds of my sleeping family I reveled in that moment of solitude.  I had no wants or needs I was just a human being, not a human doing.  I was overwhelmed with a sensation of gratitude which was all encompassing.  I felt so fortunate to be alive and be right there, in that place, in that moment.  

"I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which 
anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens 
but just those that bring simple little pleasures, 
following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.” 

L.M. Montgomery

The balcony framed the silhouette of the palm trees and the glint of the sun above the horizon illuminated the chop on the rhythmic grey green waters of the Atlantic. As the world began to wake around me I watched the waves curl over the outer reef and the flags at the corner of the bay flutter with the tell tale sign of a strong afternoon wind.  I savored that piece of perfect contentment as it melted into my soul. A layer of cloud slowly enveloped the dawn and the light became muted and less reflective.  Our apartment block began to stir and outside the gardeners started their daily routine of hosing the pool deck.  Their low spanish chatter increased my sense of exotic ambience.  Or maybe that was an endorphin high from muscles aching with the satisfaction of days upon days of being dragged around by a kite?

Time for a caffeine fix and to go Extreme, Hotel Extreme that is.  Our mid morning routine involved Greg and I sitting in the oversized Adroinack chairs in the hotel's beach restaurant sipping on smoothies while the kids wandered about unattended in the hope they may run away with the circus.

" Just cause you got the monkey off your back 

doesn't mean the circus has left town."

 George Carlin

Home school was finished and off my back, but it had seriously taken me beyond the point of breaking. I couldn't decide what was harder; having a whole list of boring lessons I forced the kids to do, or now it was over to try and come up with a list of fun diversions.  I was hysterically happy when the kids decided to attend circus school. 

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

Woody Allen 

Once the euphoria of learning I would have the mornings to myself had worn off I did actually start to question firstly my sanity and secondly the kids.  With a frown of consternation I set off to find the ring master with a few safety questions in mind.

"Keep the circus going inside you keep it going, 
don't take anything too seriously, it'll all work out in the end." 

David Niven

The ring master of this whole affair was Paul, a crazy Canadian who had indeed followed his father's footsteps in becoming a head master, but his was a school of ropes, swings, nets and wires.  The lessons taught here were about trust and belief in self and the ability of others to catch you when you fall.  Paul was quick to reassure me of high safety standards and in a well practiced conversation informed me of his background and the years he had spent training trapeze acts around the world.  He didn't seem to take the world too seriously and I figured this would be a fun experience for all.

We experience moments absolutely free from worry. 

These brief respites are called panic.”

Cullen Hightower

The next day we arrived for the first morning of school, the jitters had set in and we all took a collective gulp and craned upward to take in the largesse of the trapeze. Jazz and Josh seemed so teeny in comparison and it seemed incredible that the kids would soon be swinging higher than the palm trees.

  

Worry is a misuse of imagination."Dan Zadra

Needless for us to have worried, Paul quickly had the kids harnessed up with chalk on their hands and ready to climb the long ladder up to the trapeze.  

"Vertigo is the conflict between the fear of falling and the desire to fall."

Salman Rushdie

Jasmin was the first to climb the stairway to heaven and her confident movements belied the moments of apprehension written on her face.

"there's got to be a leap of faith. 

Ultimately, when you're at the edge, you have to go forward or backward" 

Yo Yo Ma

And leap she did, time after time, day after day.  Our girl, fearless and strong, was soon able to execute the instructions Paul shouted up from below.    

“Hold fast to your dreams, 

for without them life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.”

 Langston Hughes

Of course it takes a few mistakes to be able to get it right, but Jazz just kept on believing in her dreams, herself and her own ability and soon the mid air pirouettes and somersaults began to look professional. 

"Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death"

Hunter S. Thompson

Climbing the ladder day in and day out her stamina also increased and it was soon time to add to her repertoire. 

“Advice from a veteran trapeze performer: Throw your heart over the bars and your body will follow.”

Oddly enough, flying through the air on a trapeze really helps ground people. It became clear to me that there was a profound magical effect on these people.”

Peter Gold

"Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price." 

Amelia Earhart

For Josh the experience was one of overcoming fear and  trusting that the ropes would hold even if he lost his grip.  Letting go was a big accomplishment and he approached the challenge in a much different way than Jazz.  Each day he would gain more confidence on the trapeze but also spend time learning the other skills on the low wire. Practicing on the trampoline gave Josh a chance to practice the physical movements he would need up on the high trapeze, it was also a more social affair with the other kids in the class crowded close to watch the fun.

"Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it.  Try again. Do better the second time.  The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.  This is your moment.  Own it." 

Oprah Winfrey.

•O, he flies through the air with the greatest of ease, This daring young man on the flying trapeze. 
- George pseudonym of  Joseph Saunders Leybourne

“It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.”

 Marilyn Ferguson

Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

 of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things

 You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung

 High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,

John Magee

“Hold fast to your dreams, for without them life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
Langston Hughes

Dumb Blonde Middle Aged - ramblings from a rapid hurtle over the hill

www.dumbblondeadventures4.blogspot.com

Dumb blonde Consuela

http://dumbblondeadventures3.blogspot.com/

Dumb Blonde Sheila

www.dumbblondeadventures2.blogspot.com

Come fly a kite

“Imagination is the highest kite one can fly”

 Lauren Bacall 

I am the eternal optomist, I have to be, at 41 years old I wanted to learn how to kite.  Not just fly a kite but attach myself to the end of it with a board and be in control of the whole thing. Hopefulness was written all over my face while we munched on breakfast and look seaward hopeful of strong breezes.

“The optimist lives on the peninsula of infinite possibilities; the pessimist is stranded on the island of perpetual indecision.”

 William Arthur Ward 

“Marriages are all happy

 its having breakfast together that causes all the trouble.”

 Irish Proverb

Cooking in the Dominican Republic isn't without its problems, the electricity shortages mean that at any moment you could be left powerless, in the dark  holding a spatula.  The 'cut outs' happen so often there is even a saying when the power comes back on "Llegó la lú".

The 'Crepes' of Wrath"

Its funny, I can make crepes anywhere in the world (lets face it I can usually procure eggs, milk, flour and butter just about everywhere right?). Yet, the crepes always provide a taste of home even though I'm not French.  Butter is my own personal comfort food, and I was going to be in need of every home comfort because this was a day when I would be pushed way out of my comfort zone into a world of 'lines' and 'port tacks'.  A world where I was merely hoping to catch a glimpse of the bottom rung of the very long ladder of learning a new sport. 

“So fine was the morning except for a streak of wind here and there that the sea and sky looked all one fabric, as if sails were stuck high up in the sky, or the clouds had dropped down into the sea.” 

Virginia Woolf

Our friend and instucter, John, arrived and began the process of my education to the wind and world of kites.   He put the tiny trainer kite in my hands and I felt the first stirrings of a new addiction.  This was fun and had absolutely no consequences unless you can count untangling a line or two.   Gently, oh so gently John coaxed me into a harness and helmet and had me wait while the kids took their turn.  He had read my perfect motivator, impatience.  When he pulled out a larger kite and attached it to my harness I welcomed it.  Then came the mental appreciation for what was effortlessly being executed by the kiters surrounding me.  Keep the kite at the 'twelve o'clock' apex and everything was under control in 'neutral'.  One and two pm would power me up and send me off on a port tack, off towards the ocean.  Quickly pull back to 'twelve o'clock neutral' but oh no too much the kite slipped back to  'eleven' and 'ten' am and I was powered back, towards the buildings and palm trees and YIKES the narrow strip of beach felt like it had shrunk down to ribbon width.  John stood close by ready to help his confused fledgling figure out the imaginary wind clock.  Surely this wind clock was in direct dissension to my body clock?  I was too old and weak to be starting this now...I had to be about 20 years too late surely?   The beads of perspiration gathered in the furrow of my concentrated brow as the heat increased under my none existent collar.

“The flag was waving in the wind.

Now whether it was waving hello or goodbye, I do not know.”

Jarod Kintz

Now it was time to look at the ocean and take this whole cumbersome rig out into the water.  Adding this extra element to the wind and kite was expertly handled by John, he just told me to body drag a little way out, then fly the kite back through the apex and head back to shore.  It sounded so simple as I stood on the beach bathed in Caribbean sunshine.  Just me a helmet and harness and a kite.  Quite clearly my courage had packed up early for the day and could probably be found having a pina colada in the bar with my optimism.  Alone in my moment of truth, I dug deep for some inner grit, but found only the sand beneath my feet.  So I put one foot in front of the other and off I went talking myself into it the whole way.

“Voiceless it cries,

Wingless flutters,

Toothless bites,

Mouthless mutters.” 

J.R.R. Tolkien

Fear of being blown over the turquoise beauty of the Caribbean horizon was soon replaced with the realization I was going nowhere fast.  I quickly learned the frustrating routine of dropping the kite in the water, being washed ashore, walking back up the beach, detangling and then trying it all over again.  My physical stamina ran out way before my motivation.  By the end of the first day I felt I had at least conquered the art of trying.

“The optimist pleasantly ponders how high his kite will fly; the pessimist woefully wonders how soon his kite will fall.”

 William Arthur Ward 

I quickly came to understand that this was as much a mental sport as a physical one.  I didn't want to leap in the air or do any fancy tricks, all I wanted was to go back and forth with a board on my feet and a smile on face.  In just one short lesson I realized  I was riding a learning curve and I was at the gruelling end of it, the steep beginning.  

“A sailor chooses the wind that takes the ship from a safe port. 

Ah, yes, but once you're abroad, as you have seen, 

winds have a mind of their own. 

Be careful, Charlotte, careful of the wind you choose.” 

Avi, The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle

Greg patiently watched from the hammock, giving me the lesson time.  He'd already been through the school of hard knocks when he tried out the sport years before. Back then the equipment had been far more brutal and less forgiving.  At least I hadn't 'teabagged' and been dragged and dipped unceremoniously out of control.  Although  could anything with tea in the title really be all that bad? I am English - a cup of tea always sounds like a good idea right?

“Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with the wind.”

 Hamilton Wright Mabie

At first the kids were a little reticent to do anything other than play in the sand and watch me.  Eventually they got bored of watching me grovel up and down the beach, John quickly capitalized on this and had them play with the trainer kite while balancing on a board.  Waiting your turn can be tedious enough so that you forget your fears and  just want to get out there when your turn comes around.

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. 

Involve me and I learn."

Benjamin Franklin 

The kids of course were the fastest learners and John had them riding all manner of equipment with him alongside. Seeing their smiles made me long for the day that I too would gracefully slide between the sky and the water, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon so best I learned to enjoy their journey.

Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.

    Greg Anderson

Those first few days were a mix of the kids and I taking it in turns to try and master the wind. Greg, as ever, patiently played with the kids on the beach when it was my turn and encouraged me to keep on grovelling.  Then he would apply all manner of reverse psychology to coax the kids into trying the different options John offered them.  He would take them alone or together, on the stand up board or on the larger kite board with him.  They were just too small and too light to attempt this solo.  Greg would venture out onto the ocean and remind me how easy it was for him to master this gorgeously difficult sport.  His water and wind knowledge  emphasized my lack there of.  It was a generous act to let me catch up, so he waited on the beach indulging his family and taking photographs.

"I worship the quicksand he walks in."

    Art Buchwald

“The wind howls, but the mountain remains still.” 

Japanese Proverb

As the days rolled into weeks I began to understand the early morning signs of the ocean; what the differing weather patterns meant and what kind of wind the afternoon would bring.  The wind always came, some days lighter than others, but it always came.  In my secret cowardice I felt an element of relief when the wind wasn't as strong.  I knew this made me a wuss, weak and puny on the end of my shortened kite.  I knew that to progress I would need to bolster up my confidence and become commander of my own equipment.  I would need to take joy in harnessing the wind rather than cowering before it.  One day John suggested we take a family ride on the kiteboat.  What is a kiteboat?  Well its the pontoon of a tiny catamaran pulled by a kite.  Great fun and I was pleased that Greg would be aboard and able to enjoy the elements with us.  Besides which we needed strong wind for the boat and I was thankful I would not be facing the powerful gusts alone.

You go and you fly with your wind. 

Let everyone else catch their own gusts of wind” 

C. JoyBell.

We managed to launch the boat in a great commotion of local lads pushing us landlubbers awkwardly seaward.  The idea was for John's helper, a young local teen, to teach me how to fly the bigger kite off the front of the boat.  As we headed towards the outer reef the other kiters scooted out of the way looking on in surprised amusement at the cumbersome sight of a a family outing.  It was windy and further out there was definitely a larger swell, as we pitched and rolled the kids became more vocal in their misery.  They were scared stiff clinging grimly onto the net of the trampoline, they just wanted to get off.  Greg and I tried to reassure them with smiles and excited looks but nothing would convince them.  In truth it was becoming hard mental slog to convince myself that this was a good idea.  Capitulating to momma bear, John and Greg agreed to take the kids back to shore.  Several meters from the sand they both leapt from the boat in fear that these cruel and crazy adults would change their minds and they would be press ganged back out to sea.  I watched them bob back to shore in their life vests with an urgency akin to movie extras from Jaws. However, there was little time to take in the view as we quickly turned and headed back out to the reef on a port tack.  It was suggested that I hang off the shoulder of John's young helper so that I might learn the finer skills of controlling a kite.  Perhaps it was the white knuckle pressure of my claw like hand gripping his shoulder that caused his concentration to break.  Or maybe it was the need of this young man to show an old chuck like me just how fast he could make the kite turn.  Or perhaps it was just sod's law that made the idiot teen swing the cumbersome rig far too sharply back towards shore.  Instinctively I knew the lines would break, even as a complete novice I understood the manoeuvre just didn't feel possible.  Well actually it felt downright impossible, the teen knew exactly how to sail alone but he had no feeling for the wieght of the boat.  What could this erratic young single buck know about the slow cumbersome movements of family groups?   

"it'll come like a wind,

and your plans will stand before it no more than a barn before a cyclone”

Stephen King

The disaster did indeed come like a cyclone and our plans of a pleasant afternoon of sailing were blown away with that one fatal error.  The teen, like a rat, leapt off the boat and hung onto the kite trying to unravel the knotted  mess he had gotton us into.  As the kite began its tangled journey ashore without us I realized the swell and current were pushing us in the opposite direction. John abandoned his attempt to unsnarl the twisted ropes which were now hopelessly wrapped around the rudder and swam off to demonstrate how to use the kite for a self rescue.  Meanwhile back on the pontoon I took a concerted deep breath, quelled my rising levels of panic and started to laugh when I saw Greg was still calmly taking photos of my first 'kitemare'.  

John's infamous ten gallon hat, with him under it, washed shoreward as he self rescued himself and sent a new kite boy recruit to attach himself to the boat and pull us back to the beach.  The current had pushed us way down the beach towards the flat rocks of what I had termed "Loser's Bay".  Basically this is the spot where incompetent novices such as myself get washed ashore in a knotted clump.  I had even gone on to name the small thicket of palm trees where I would untangle the lines as "Spaghetti Shade".

Nearing land, I plunged from the boat holding cameras and sunglasses aloft and pathetically confess I was glad to be assisted through the surf to the sanctuary of the sand.  I could now add Castaway Cove to my map.  Unabashed, I relished my helpless dumb blonde moment of being 'rescuee' rather than rescuer. Safe in the knowledge I merely had to walk back to the apartment and leave the clean up to my gallant crew, I reassured John that at least it was a good way to see a self rescue from the comfort of our floating platform.  It had also been a good lesson in wind strength and staying calm in a panic. I was so glad my first kitemare had been a group experience.

Even with the kite challenge, as a family we loved the Dominican Republic beach lifestyle.  To sleep and wake next to the ever changing ocean breathes life into every day.  The smell of the salt is home, to the kids especially.  The warm waves and balmy winds soothe the essence of the soul.  We got to spend so much time together creating precious memories in the soft light of the Caribbean.

“I have always loved the beach. 

The smell of the salty water, the wind in my face, 

the gentle roar of the waves all combine to create a sense of peace and calm.”

Anonymous

"

"Little surfer, little one, made my heart come all undone. 

Do you love me, do you surfer girl?" 

The Beach Boys

“She is like the wind, open and free. If I cage the wind, would it die?

Then don't cage it, Mikhail. Trust it to stay beside you.” 

Christine Feehan

We spent most afternoons dragging up and down through the water.  I would feel intense envy each time I would see another helmeted novice rising up even if for just a few seconds and glide on their board over the water.  It just seemed to me that I would never manage to get control of the all the equipment.  The most unruly appliance was my own body, that left leg of mine just refused to do what it was told.  Yet I persevered and continued daily in that quest for unison of woman and rig flying effortlessly in the small gap between the wind and sky.  

“For example, the wind has its reasons.
We just don't notice as we go about our lives.
But then, at some point, we are made to notice.
The wind envelops you with a certain purpose in mind, and it rocks you.
The wind knows everything that's inside you.
And not just the wind.Everything, including a stone.
They all know us very well. From top to bottom.
It only occurs to us at certain times.
And all we can do is go with those things.
As we take them in, we survive, and deepen.” 

Haruki Murakami

Besides it was easy to hide my tears of frustration under the mass of salt water I floundered in.  Although my sunburnt cheeks could not conceal my wide smile when here and there I enjoyed a moment of mastery.  John's analogy of the kite being like a dog resonated with me.  Some days I felt in complete control of the chihuahua, some days it was a great dane taking me for a walk.  I will even confess to a couple of moments when there was a whole team of anarchist sled dogs dragging me off to depths of hidden despair.  

“Close your eyes and turn your face into the wind.

Feel it sweep along your skin in an invisible ocean of exultation.

Suddenly, you know you are alive.” 

Vera Nazarian

Each day certainly brought me tantalizingly closer to moments of that ultimate balancing act between the air and the water, with my whole world of flight controlled by the slight movement of fingertips, while my toes directed the board to plane across the waves.  Conquering the impossible, for just a few seconds each time, was enough for me to sense the feeling and grind beyond the pain of poundings in my bay of sorrows.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
Walt Disney

 “Pain is a pesky part of being human"

 C. JoyBell


And now, my poor old woman,

why are you crying so bitterly?

....the wind howls. Why must you mimic” 

Mervyn Peake

Learning to kite (or more accurately almost learning to kite) has been a true psychological test of my 41 year old being.  This undoubtedly was one of the hardest physical and mental challenges I have willingly chosen to repeatedly undertake.  I managed a water start of sorts, but before my confidence could gain a sure footing I fell back into the water jubilant to have achieved my goal yet too scared to go forward beyond that.  I WILL do this one day in the future, it's just way too much fun being out there harnessing the elements of wind and water.  Perhaps this new found self belief and personal conviction that I will succeed is in fact the more important lesson that I learned.