As another utopian day dawns, my soul is stuffed full with happiness. If I don't include dragging the kids down to the restaurant to get internet connection for the dreaded stint of home school. Between you and me, I'm secretly starting to enjoy the time I get to spend seeing the kids have those light bulb moments. But to achieve those cerebral flashes I spend a lot of time stubbing my toe in the dark while stumbling around looking for the darn flashlight. A traveller friend of mine says that her daughter swears at her when she's really frustrated with the whole nomadic, learning online, mom/teacher gig. I think that as long as they can spell each four letter word properly its fair game for the curriculum. Anyway it may come in as handy vocab if they turn into tortured singer/song writer types. Although my music lessons already are torturous, perhaps thats because the pinnacle of my musical career was propping up a piano singing in a traditional pub, knees up.
I am definitely ski jumping off some sort of learning curve, I have high hopes that fifth grade comprehension will finally cure me of my haphazard approach to grammar!As our first week of education in a hotel dining room winds to a close I have a few more observations to make.
Teaching upon plastic table clothes with Bahamian kitchen staff smiling and laughing their good natured way through each subject with us, certainly has its merits. The Abaco Inn staff have been super encouraging of this crazy scheme. I am starting to believe I just may make it through the semester without mincing up the family and hiding the evidence in conch fritters.
The kids are incredibly patient and tolerant, they want to learn. Its all a matter of drawing their motivation out of them. They are the sponge and I just need to learn to pour water onto them rather than my caustic brand of soda. In my particular school of hard boiled eggs, scanning a menu is considered "silent sustained reading". On an island that imports almost everything on the menu, you can imagine how much an apple costs by the time it gets here? Ironically, Josh has been working on a 'healthy menu' as part of his program. Under the circumstances, I have to allow him to include fries and the ketchup counts as a vegetable right?
In our ever changing world of nomadic normalcy, routine has become my helper, I don't have to answer "because I said so" I just have to explain that it is "because we did that yesterday". Its a crocodilian style approach, where repeating something twice means its a pattern and on the third repetition I could rip your head off. I hereby promise that until my dying day I will be in reverent awe of anyone who teaches.
"Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well." Aristotle
However, setting up school on the breakfast tables definitely has another upside for the kids. I have to smile through gritted teeth and be nice to them no matter what. I can't resort to threats or bribery in front of the other diners. Although in the lull between breakfast and lunch the other day I did offer a dollar per journal entry. Sneaky me they haven't collected yet. Previously I had offered Josh $10 per sausage if he would eat some meat. As he quickly shoveled down the first two I realized my folly and cruelly informed him it was neither Bahamian nor US dollars but Zimbabwean he would be paid in. After an impromptu lesson in currency exchange, the protein intake for the day was abruptly over.
Talking of currency. It is nice to see the Queen on a few of the Bahamian notes. Cash on an island with no ATM is a rare commodity. I may even resort to stealing from the kids' wallets. Tooth fairy be damned. Although I did notice the bank opened for 2 hours on a Tuesday. Judging by the wooden bars on the windows I don't think they will have much cash on hand. All you'd need to be a bank robber here is a small hacksaw.
"OK, boys; let's go make a withdrawal." John Dillinger.
Luckily I didn't need to rob a bank because Tuesday is Taco special night down at Captain Jacks and the margaritas are a twoferone deal. While waiting for the delivery of my second frozen strawberry margi, the kids decided to throw bread pieces over the side of the dock. To our delight a swarm of brown snappers herded under the shade of the pilings. The crystal clear water emphasized the growing numbers of fish and feeling the power of the Bahamian loaf the kids tried to coax the shoal out towards the end of the tiny pier. The four mothers who had arrived via stand up paddle boards were quietly refreshing their thirst with cold beers. It wasn't long before we were chatting about the type of boards they were so casually sitting on enjoying the confetti of crumbs, snow flaking around them. With the exuberance that only an eight year old can muster, Josh yelled "shark" and it was with such happiness he informed us it was probably a nurse shark and not to worry.
"The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in." Wilson Mizner
"If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane."Author Unknown
The epitome of a dumb blonde adventure is an American Golf Cart with right hand drive, driving on the left. That leaves me sitting in the 'driving seat' with no steering wheel cruising around, still grinning like a loon.
In fact I've been smiling so much in the warm breeze I may need to start rubbing vaseline on my teeth, like a bride on her wedding day, to coax my lips back together.
"When I get real bored, I like to drivedown town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving." Steven Wright
Look at us, now we're a two car family! Guess we'll be the wacky racers. "He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie" Mickey Mantle But whats the rush? The island is less than five miles long. I have no compunction to leave this paradise yet. I'm trapped in a happiness bubble, everything seems to be floating the right way here in Utopiaville.
An impromptu picnic down on Tahiti beach turned into a star fish, conch, sea anemone conference. Maybe I could turn this into a math learning opportunity. If five starfish suck the insides out of a sea biscuit, how many octopi would it take to fight me off the lobster?
"Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air." Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Talking of picnics and food, the cuisine here is wonderful. What makes it taste all the better is that its so safe on this Island of 260 people that I don't have to worry if I want to send the kids off to the Sugar Shack for a grilled cheese. It feels like a bygone era, the safety of a community from yesteryear. Not many cars, just bikes, golf carts and boats.
"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Give him a fishing lesson and
he'll sit in a boat drinking beer every weekend."
Alex Blackwell
Maybe I should send Greg for more beer? After all, it is five o'clock somewhere.
"There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction. " Salvador Dali
Hi! You all look so happy and tan and relaxed! Glad you all are having fun!! Tell the kiddie I say hello!
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