The Nether Regions

"When it's Spring again I'll bring again Tulips from Amsterdam" 

Max Bygraves

Every decade there is a world horticultural expo called Floriade somewhere in Europe.  The latin word word 'floriat' means "to design with flowers". Floriade is the conglomeration of over 100 participants' designs of fantastical gardens and pavillions.  Set in 66 hectares (almost 150 football fields), 5 different worlds are scattered amongst the woodlands.  This chance to dance amongst the daffodils was an opportunity we weren't about to miss.  

"So long, fare thee well.

Pip! Pip! Cheerio!

We'll be back soon." 

Lyrics from Oliver Twist the Musical

This was a Momma and Grandmomma adventure of note.  Dad put on a brave face as he resigned himself to an empty house and only golf to fill his days.  We allowed him to console himself as taxi driver to the train station.  

''... a unique endeavour 

To bring to bloom the million-petalled flower 

Of being here.''

Philip Larkin (1922-1986), British poet.

The train cut all the way across from the West coast of England to the East coast and we arrived in the port city of Hull a few hours later.  I had no clue who Phillip Larkin was and why there was a bronze statue of him in the station.  Once again, I was an ignoramus on English literature and was left looking blank, scratching my blonde head.  This well known poet he had lived in Hull for 30 years and had turned down Poet Laureate.  He said of writing poetry "I can't understand these chaps who go round American universities explaining how they write poems: It's like going round explaining how you sleep with your wife." I was starting to like his attitude if not his poetry, but this was no time to ponder poems, we had a boat to catch.

"The love boat has crashed against the everyday.”

 Vladimir Mayakovsky

The "Pride of Rotterdam" ferry offers passengers an overnight passage from Hull to Rotterdam, Netherlands.  The website sells it as a "mini-cruise" but this was no "Love Boat" scenario, it was more of a cross between function and fun.  The 705 ft. passenger and cargo ship uses the vehicle roll on and roll off system, with overnight cabins for around 1400 people. The passengers were an eclectic mix of truck drivers, self drive families and tourist groups on coach trips.  Once aboard, the kids set about exploring the ship. 

“Sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes He calms the sailor” 

Unknown

The kids were excited to say the least and we hadn't even left the dock yet.  We decided to go back to the cabin and dress for dinner.

“Of all the husbands on the earth, The sailor has the finest berth, For in 'is cabin he can sit, And sail and sail and let 'er knit”

 Wallace Irwin

This was turning into a lot of fun and a great travel experience for the kids.  Dinner was an excellent, all I could stuff myself with, buffet.  Afterwards, Grandma decided she would take in a movie in the onboard theatre.  Down in the bar, the one story high TV screens were blaring the latest Soccer match and a bevy of truckers sat clutching their pints avidly following the action.  I watched the kids in the padded cell/play area while sucking back a glass of bubbly and channelled Ernest Hemingway sans beard.  

“Seize the moment.

Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.”

 Erma Bombeck 

These non aircraft choices for travel were really starting to make an impression on me.  I had a great nights sleep and then tucked into a sterling English breakfast while we made ready to dock in the morning.  Of course Josh was changing countries again so it was time to lose another tooth.

"I dream of painting and then I paint my dream."

Vincent Van Gogh

Amsterdam was just a short coach ride from the port of Rotterdam.  To me, the capital city of the Netherlands is synonymous with art, canals, the notorious Red Light district, infamous 'coffee shops', Anne Frank's house, Dutch cheese, clogs, tulips and of course windmills.  

"For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King."

William Shakespeare

We figured the best way to get a quick smorgasbord of all the tourist sights was to take a canal cruise.  So after a quick 'smackrel' of lunch and a drink we were good to go.  Of course one cannot forget the 3 most important Dutch Impressionists; Amstel, Heineken and Grolsch.  Don't worry, I didn't really let the kids drink an ale with lunch, I'm not a complete yob, I waited to give them the best French wines at dinner.

“In Amsterdam the water is the mistress and the land the vassal.
Throughout the city there are as many canals and drawbridges
as bracelets on a Gypsy's bronzed arms.”

 Felix Marti-Ibanez

At only 2 meters above sea level, Amsterdam gets it's name from the 'dam built on the river Amstel'.  The Netherlands means the 'low country' very fitting considering 20% of this flat country is below sea level and another 50% less than 1 meter above sea level.  The population of the country is just under 17 million with over 2 million in the Amsterdam metropolitan area.  The gazillions of bicyclists were all starting to make sense.

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by," 

John Masefield

It was super relaxing to kick back and cruise on the canal.   We passed the Greenpeace ship 'Rainbow Warrior' which is docked at the Scheepsvart Museum, (Maritime Museum).  There was also replica of the "Amsterdam" which sank off England in 1749.  It is inspiring to think that tall ships like these sailed the Netherlands into their "Golden Age".  During the 1600's the Dutch fleet created a worldwide trading network making the Netherlands the greatest seafaring nation and richest country in the world.  The commerical wealth created made it the World's financial centre and the city was home to the World's first Stock Exchange.  It was during this time of city planning that the belt of canals were built.  

"We the Chinese conquered the world through our food."

Chinese Proverb

From one turret to the next, the old and the new buildings merge together along the banks of the canals.  There is even a replica of the "Jumbo" restaurant which is in Aberdeen Harbor in Hong Kong.

"Writing in a diary is a really strange experience for someone like me. 

Not only because I've never written anything before, 

but also because it seems to me that later on neither I nor anyone else will be interested in the musings of a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl." 

(June 20, 1942) Anne Frank

The charming gabled facades of the houses along the waters edge made me check my eyesight.  Many homes are converted warehouses which means the top floor actually tilts out further than the ground floor in order to haul goods up.  However, some of the homes actually leaned in more than one direction.  I found out this was due to the fluctuation of groundwater tables which make the wooden pilings rot out and the houses tilt.  Seeing these homes it is easy to understand how Anne Frank managed to stay hidden from the Nazis in an annex of one of these homes.  In fact, there were two families sharing their secret small quarters from 1942 to 1944.   Betrayed during the last years of the war, Anne was sent to Auschwitz concentration camp.  Anne, her mother and sister perished and so did the four members of the other family. Only Otto, her father, survived.  There is just no way I even want to imagine the process he went through when he returned after the war to find himself the sole survivor.  The strength it must have taken to read, let alone publish, Anne's diary is unfathomable. 

 "Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."  

Unknown

Grandma had booked a fabulous apartment complete with piano for our entertainment.  Overlooking the river we were a stones throw from the Metro.  

“The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard.”

 Sloan Wilson

The kids were flabbergasted by the amount of bikes left in the commuter lot of the metro station.  We caught the train back into the centre for the usual prescription of ornate buildings and the inevitable city pigeon feeding ceremony.

"The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow." 

 Bill Gates

Dam Square is exactly that - a dam.  Around 1270 a dam was built across the Amstel River connecting the settlements on either side.  As the boats began to moor at the dam and unload, it became a centre of commerce with a huge fish market.  The neo-classical building was built in 1655 and was the town hall until 1808 when it became the Royal Palace.  It is now at the disposal of Queen Beatrix.  Josh was shocked to learn it was built on 13,569 poles.

  

"The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere." 

Jim Hightower

I had to admit the kids have got really ingenious in feeding pigeons, they often get them to eat out of their hands.  Not me though, I see them more as rats with wings.  We managed to avoid taking away any pigeon souvenirs and went in search of the houseboat museum.  

"The painted barges came from town,

And busy life flowed up and down;"

Reginald Arkell

Amsterdam has the most museums of any city, and of course some enterprising chap decided there was a need for a houseboat musuem.  There are 2500 house boats on the cities 165 canals.  Unlike the early Dutch sailors we didn't need a shot of alcohol (Dutch courage) before boarding the vessel.  After a requisite look-see, the kids became engrossed in a drawing project in one of the rooms of the boat so I took the chance to just sit on the geranium filled rear deck and just watch the world go by, canal style.